Weekend Damage Control

The liberal media is hyperventilating over their own analysis relating to the homicide bomber who killed himself and others outside the fence of the Bagram, Afghanistan base where VP Dick Cheney was meeting with members of the central Afghani government today. (Someone tell me if this is a grammatically correct sentence?)

Liberals Waste No Time starting Spin Machine

CNN reported today that the attack showed the increased ability of the Taliban to strike Western interests.

My Analysis: The second highest American government official goes into the heart of Radical Islam country, and all they can do is meth-up one unemployed heroin addict and walk him to the chain link for a meeting with allah? Didn't they have a few crazed middle-school kids with RPG's? Isn't that what they go to school for, CNN?

Is that all they've got?! Kind of flacid, if you ask me.

I'm kind of disappointed in Radical Islam today. They're just not holding up their end of this conflict.
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My lovely daughter had a pep rally last week. She did great.


Afterward, I was pretty fired up. Her love interest was there because he's in her class. I told him to get next to her to take a picture. He had no problem with that. But, evidently she got embarrased because her other classmates were there. ........ I just don't get kids.

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The first picture attached is our good friend, Clint "Farmer" Scoggins. Second picture is the imperturbable Aaron Morgan. In the last picture, Morgan throws to Junior at 1B to hold a runner.

Playing in Houston's Baseball USA means teams will only see the best competition. Every player works individually with professional trainers. And, every team is stacked. After this weekend, the Gladiators will have to content themselves with being the worst of the best after losing three in a row.

One of the teams Beaumont played was the Texas Drillers. This is a team that pounds the baseball from 1-9 in their lineup. They are so well-financed that they all flew to Puerto Rico for a tournament last Fall, at one of the parents' expense. They took 2nd there.

John sees a lot of boys that he has played baseball with through the years. In the coming years, they'll all be reading eachothers' names in the Houston Chronicle Sports Page. These are the future stars of the Houston area.

And while we await this weekend's tournament.....

This is a picture that I took this week of my lovely daughter. She is a vision of loveliness. She always minds her daddy. More about her to follow.

Click the link here to see one of the greatest video clips you’re just ever going to see:
Green Bean Standoff
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While I was waiting for my son at the orthodontist’s office today, a nice looking lady approached and said “Hello….”. I’m sure I looked a little shell-shocked. She didn’t know that I’d just left the battle zone and had no idea as to her identity. She asked how my new dog was doing. Then, I realized that she was the kind lady who rescued the little Black Lab pup and needed to find it a home. A mutual friend volunteered me. That was 6 weeks ago.

Everybody should have a Lab puppy at least once in order to fully appreciate it. Like a convertible, owning one of these little blessings is totally impractical and high maintenance. Also, both the convertible and puppy come with lots of hidden costs.

My son’s pitching coach told us about his dog passing blue and red plastic for two days after it ate all the wire off his trailer. These dogs are just a laugh a minute.

Fellow Black Lab owners are like Marines because they all ultimately realize their puppy is the enemy. The owner defeats the will of the enemy or vice versa. And, owners all respect each other because they’ve all run the gauntlet (or killed their dog).

Like a terrorist, this puppy digs trenches, destroys walls and windows. But, I have an ally. His name is Larry. During my absences, Larry the German Shepherd raises the puppy. He’s teaching the puppy to respect authority. Thank goodness for a trustworthy ally in my personal war against terror.


Next time hopefully, I’ll recognize the nice lady once I’ve recovered from this trauma.

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As part of the NBA's All-Star Weekend, new fans got to see the round moribund, Charles Barkley race 67 year old Dick Bavetta in a carnival sideshow atmosphere. Too bad he's reduced to this.

Folks forget or are too young to know how great Charles Barkley was when he was young. Click this link for a quick reminder: Round Mound of Rebound
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My lovely daughter was recognized at school for demonstrating the virtue of the month: Respect. I am very proud of her. Also, her basketball coach called her the most tenacious defender on the team at the last practice this season. She was scrappy and tough. On the basketball court, she doesn’t respect anybody. Ironic.

Beware the Age of Enlightenment

Isn't it unusual that we're looking at a picture of the Indianapolis Colts giving thanks to God after the Super Bowl? Kind of foreign? It just seems so because fans are being conditioned by the left to bifurcate American cultural events and its religious ones.

Take for example last week's perfect media storm involving a marginal former NBA player, John Amaechi who has claimed to be a homosexual. Sports writers and radio personalities beat the bushes for a week, trying to find an NBA player who would say exactly the things that Tim Hardaway said. He hates homosexuals. He wouldn't want to play with homosexuals. Then the media had its controversy with the resulting fodder for hours of secular platitudes about "bigotry" and "tolerance".

Based upon the media's definition of tolerance, any professional athlete who believes the Apostle Paul's words in the Book of Romans might be branded as intolerant. Certainly, Tim Hardaway's words are too angry and too strong. It isn't Christian to waste your energy with hate. Still, homosexuality is a sin, like any other. Could the time come when Christian Athletes will have to publicly deny the teachings of their faith in order to comply with society's criteria in it's new "age of enlightenment"?

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Chicagoland Educator, Todd Keeler summed last week's rant about parents demanding change for the better: "The 'stay putism,' you described is cleverly-disguised passivity, a staple in the the blob of mediocrity's diet which is also consuming much of our youth. Life is about change and constant and never-ending improvement by taking healthy risks--not about staying comfortable which is the natural gravitational pull of the world. Good for you for your great reminder to me."

Valentine's Wrap-Up

If you show me a player who respects his coaches and parents, I’ll show you a player with big upside. One such player is on our current team, the Beaumont Gladiators. His name is Clint Scoggins, from Silsbee, Texas. Our new team passed on several more experienced players because of this young man’s effort and good attitude. (Clint on the left, John rt.)
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Junior hit the baseball last weekend at Baseball USA in Houston. He had a hit off the fence, a hit to left, to right-center, a bloop hit, a hit so hard that it ricocheted off the shortstop, a clutch hit and a go-ahead hit. It was a nice weekend,…. if you like hitting.
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Relating to last week's entry about our border-agent patriots, , my dad wrote:

Your point is painfully, Right ON. The handling of the Border Patrol incident is a scandal. No doubt due to the (expletive removed) ACLU. But, why can't our legal-justice system see through the pseudo-legal (adjective removed) smoke? Obviously a result of our perverse political system.

Frankly Patrick, I am impressed that you are aware of this unacceptable affair. Love, Dad
My dad is generally surprised when I am aware of anything not relating to sports.

My paternity claim on Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter has received surprisingly little media attention.
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The Congressional Subcommittee Meeting on Global Warming was cancelled on Valentine’s Day because of freezing rain and snow accumulation. Add your own punchline.
(I bet my Dad didn't know this.)

http://www.drudgereport.com/flash8.htm
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In Select baseball, from time to time it becomes necessary to switch teams. Usually, the parents bicker over where Little Johnny plays. Why does Little Billy bat in front of Little Joey? Sometimes the financial commitment to one team is prohibitive. Or, the coach is better suited to be working in the penal system than guiding young men towards their adulthood.

It’s O.K. It happens. Sometimes you just move on to another team. My son has played for five different select teams, since he was nine years old.

The thing that makes me scratch my head is when parents who have a better opportunity with a different team, explain their decision to stay put thusly: “Well, we asked Billy what he wants to do. He said he wants to stay with his friends.”

It really makes me nervous when folks admit that they abdicated the decision-making to their 10-year-old. Don’t get in that habit. Make sure your kid knows that you will call the shots.

Someone will say “How will I teach my precious angel how to make his own decisions?” My answer: Teach by example.

Some folks have a hard time being where the buck stops. It’s just too much responsibility for them. Get ready, people. If you can’t dictate outcomes when your kids are little, how will you tell them they can’t go to the tattoo parlor/meth. lab/Marilyn Manson concerto when they’re sixteen?

Pujols Abandons Legal Protections

You're going to think I'm crazy. But, I think Albert Pujols made an error yesterday. He was awarded American Citizenship after passing a test, for which he prepared as if it was the World Series. The result of the day may mean a reduction of protections for Pujols in any future mishaps, within the American Judicial System.

Chester Moyer, the officer in charge of the U.S. Citizen and Immigration Service office in St. Louis, said Thursday that Deidre Pujols served as her husband's tutor. Moyer said Pujols, 27, spent about a year preparing for the citizenship exam. He went on to pass the exam with a score of 100.

Doesn't Pujols know that citizenship is the kiss of death, should he ever be found bumping an illegal while waving the American Flag, or suggesting that President Bush is a greater leader than say.... Hugo Chavez? Just ask Border Patrol Agents Ignacio Ramos and Jose Compean, who are serving sentences of 10 years each in Federal Penitentiaries for scuffling and subsequently shooting a Mexican National, who was attempting to smuggle more than 700 pounds of illicit drugs into America from Mexico on Feb. 17, 2005. In this case, the foreign intruder was found to have had his civil rights infringed. He was given immunity from prosecution in return for testifying in America against our citizens. The Border Agents were said to have violated his rights by pursuing the illegal drug-smuggling alien.

Didn't anybody tell Albert Pujols that this is no longer the United States of America. (I'll have to tell him myself in my library voice.) Albert, this is La-La Land where every day is opposite day. And yes, that's why I wear my underpants on the outside.
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I'm proud that I live in Congressman Ted Poe's District. He is taking the lead with Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-Colo.) in Congress on demanding that the complete story be heard and that Pres. Bush pardon these men.

Also, I am proud that our country is still the greatest in the world. I'm glad that a fine man like Pujols would regard being an American highly enough to spend a year to prepare.

Tancredo Demands Pardon

In response to this, Chicago Business Owner, Sean O'Connor writes: Given the state of my (part owner of a small business) health care plan, he (Pujols) is a fool. Recently, my wife had a procedure at the hospital that was painful and urgent and I knew all along it was going to be out of pocket. Not only was I tired and upset for the sake of my wife and wallet but leaving the emergency room and seeing no less than 14 (what appeared to be) illegals waiting for care put me over the edge. if I was alone, I would have a few things in English that i would have made sure they understood.
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Thanks to those folks who encouraged me to keep writing. I was taking a sabbatical while my son was in preparation mode for another baseball season. He plays tomorrow in Houston.

Will the Thrill

This lad pictured is a hockey player in Glenview, Illinois, named Will. He is the youngest of three boys. Will is all about hockey. I think he's eight years old. One of the reasons sports are so great is that the playing field in sports is about as level as it ever gets in a child's life.

The other day, a friend of mine lamented the outside influences that his son faces in school, such as institutional reverse-racism and the permeation of sexual influences. Our lad Will doesn't have to worry about any of that on the rink. In sports, your opponent is always visible and usually right between you and your goal.

An interesting tidbit about the picture of Will. Notice the new blue puck.. It weighs less than the traditional black puck, thereby making it easier for the littles to maneuver it around the goalies head. They use the blue puck at the mite level ( ages 5-8).

Naturally, Will's older two brothers think the kids who use the blue pucks are wimps, and enjoy commenting on it EVERY single time they watch him play, as though they were seeing it for the first time. They say things like " Give me a break!' and "That is so ridiculous" or "What's up with the blue puck?" That teasing is what is going to make Will the baddest of the three.


Headlines: Today I saw a headline that said that 5 people were gunned down in Detroit, in the span of ten minutes, in separate incidents. It's getting pretty ugly there. And, the body count is piling up. No doubt, the Democrats will want us soon to pull out.

Hey Dads, Man up.

Yesterday, I heard a voice on the Christian radio station say something about the importance of keeping your children near, spending every possible bit of time with them. The speaker explained that jealously guiding our kids throughout their youths is the only way we parents could protect them from the media and their peers’ attempts at getting them to join in non-meritorious (for lack of a much more colorful word) activities. It is increasingly difficult for fathers to find the moral perch from which to guide their kids. Society wants your children to fail. And, it wants you to fail as a parent. Society uses the ‘Times are Changing’ rationale and the ‘Let them grow up.’ Arguments to knock you off balance. You dads need to recognize these. Never forget that no one cares more deeply for your child than you. When people want your kids to do something you’re not certain about, just say ‘no’.

The ‘Times are changing (TAC)’ Argument goes thusly:

“C’mon. Now days, young kids have cell phones and text-messaging. They go to movies. They have the internet. What’s the harm? How’s your kid going to function in society if you don’t let him/her do it?

Folks, all these things are true. But, our society also has pedophiles and a justice system that fails its’ victims with a moral uncertainty that precludes even defining sexual perversion as clearly wrong. Our society also has a long list of STDs that cause everything from opaque, pastel petro-chemicals to small patches of little mushrooms on or about the genitalia. Introduce your kid to these hazards on your timetable, not society’s timetable. The path our children walk is murky. And, the stakes are their futures. When assailed by the ‘Times are changing.’ Argument, resist the urge to bludgeon the speaker and just say ‘no’.

Here is the ‘Let them grow up (LTGU)’ line of reasoning:

“Hey, how is your boy ever going to learn to think for himself? When are you going to let him grow up? You need to let him make his own decisions.”

This scenario comes up often in the picking-of-friends. Affluent, any-way-the-wind-blows-tennis-mommy will lament her daughter’s choice of boyfriends. “Oh well, you can’t pick their friends,” she’ll say as if that is outside a parent’s contractual purview. What?!

Remember, a good parent has more experience upon which to base his/her decisions. If your daughter rides up on the back end of some oily, tattooed kid’s uninsured motorcycle, you need to have the fortitude to run his ass off your property while blowing the rubber off the back rim with your shotgun. Again, the stakes are too high today not to have the courage to be a parent.

We not only protect our children, but we impart our faith and values during the time we spend together. My friend, Tommy Moye took his boys, Robert and Ryan to Smith Point this past weekend to go duck hunting. This dad spends his time with his boys during sports and hunting activities and projects his values upon his boys by the way he gives them a central role in his life. He has a terrible aim, but is a great dad.

I’ve had to field both the LTGU and TAC during my kids’ youths. Both are so common, people just accept them as valid. But, the acceptance of these arguments is the forfeiture of your role and responsibility as a parent. Man up. Be a parent. Just say “no”.

Spicoli Kills Tigers

We few viewers who watched the World Series probably feel differently about Jeff Weaver, aka "Jeff Spicoli", since the playoffs. Note: He's going to be a free-agent. So, his motiviation was high.

During the season, he was terrible for the Angels, who traded him for cash considerations from the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim for outfielder Terry Evans. Spicoli's regular season numbers are remarkable, only for their flacidity. Left-handers hit .340 against him. His HOME ERA for the regular season was 7.70. That's bad on a historic scale.

In the playoffs, he reversed everything, posting a 2.43 ERA and a win in the World Series when the lights were brightest. A phenonemal performance for Weaver. Somebody great once said: "Give me 9 players in their contract year, and I'll win a pennant."

News from the White House This isn't really news from THE White House. I'm referring to Valley Ranch, DFW. The Great Timinator Phillips, Fort Worth Fireman and Sports-Analyst gives his thoughts on the latest conniptions inside Texas Stadium:

Question: Who is to blame for all those sacks last Monday Night?

Timinator: I hate laying the blame on anyone in particular, but if you were to back me into a corner and ask who is to blame for the O Line this year I would have to say it's the positional coach.

Question:Can any team that has the volatilite mix of Jones/TO ever get to the playoffs?

Timinator: As far as the TO/Jerry Jones question I don't know where to begin. There is no doubt TO is an ass beating for Parcells. I'm sure he gets tired of answering questions about him. No question he is a top-flight athlete and by that definition he would make any team better. It's the other crap you get with this nut-job that you have to put up with. I'm not in the locker room with this guy so I don't REALLY know how it is to play with him.

A lot of times the media drives the public into thinking the way someone should think about something or someone (i.e. Al-Jazeera West aka CNN). That's not always the way things are. The only thing that bugged me about him so far was after he dropped the 4th and 2 pass Monday night he was shown laughing on the sidelines. He is the first to lash out at someone for not playing up to their potential and there he is smiling. I miss the days when someone like Ditka or Butkus would have taken one of these high priced punks and beat the shit out of them.

The Timinator played linebacker at Sam Houston HS in Arlington, Texas, where he was known as "White Chocolate". We at the Vicarious Life think that the Timinator would make a good County Sheriff.

* Ever since ESPN let Keith Olbermann back on-board, it's been an on-the-air keg party for socialists. The Bush-bashing happens at almost every telecast of Sportcenter.

* No one has pointed out that my pick for the World Series actually lost. Thank you. The loss was devastating enough.

* Chicago's Sean O'Connor points out that watching a game involving a team you hate can actually be more exciting than watching your favorite team. Whoever is playing your enemy becomes a surrogate-favorite. Sean hypothesizes that we men may actually dedicate more energy to our foes. I found this phenomena to be true this past weekend as I cheered on the Texas Tech Red Raiders against the reviled Longhorns from Austin. Henceforth, this will be the Surrogate-Favorite Theory.

Memoirs of the Eleven-Year-Old All-Stars

Sometimes I marvel at my kid's memory of games-played. He will pass a kid in another town and recall having struck him out. Then, he'll recall something about the game that stimulates my memory. Kids' games are important and formative. It's ironic that we sometimes don't appreciate that, though we might vividly recall the play-by-play of childhood games from decades past.

Two of my good highschool friends from Chicago, Sean O'Connor and Todd Projansky were shaped by the game too. They recall the setting, the players and the atmosphere from the otherwise forgotten days on anonymous fields where (unbeknownst to their parents) men were tested and legends were crowned. Projo, whose daughter is an All-Star caliber goalie on her all-boy's hockey team, appreciates the formative influence of sports.

O'Connor:

Projo was pretty good at baseball. We both played at Glenbrook South (our highschool) and at Maine Northfield little league.

Those in the Glenview Little League used to strut around like they were the sh#t. But I'm sure our all-star team could have beat them. Projo is all about the baseball....

Projansky:

Glenview vs. Maine Northfield!! Ah yes, the good ole days. The greatest game I ever participated in was as an 11 year old (circa 1978)in this storied rivalry. (Projansky played for Maine Northfield.)

Glenview put Peter Janus on the mound (later played at Rollins in Fla. and was a walk-on at Miss. State prior to that with Palmeiro, Thigpen and Will Clark). Maine Northfield countered with Marc Bartalotta (played at both U. of Houston and New Orleans with Jim Bullinger).

The Glenview (Illinois) lineup had Jim Niemann (a real bastard who beat me (Titus)in a fight in 1981 when we were highschool sophomores), a guy with a beard and mustache named Harris and several other luminaries. The Maine Northfield lineup had a psycho named Rob Orlowski behind the plate who scared the crap out of me, but at least he was on my team.

The 6 inning game is in the top of the 6th. Each team had 1 hit in the game and it was tied 0-0. I come up with a man on 1st and 2 outs. I muscle up and 1 hop one off of the fence. The man on 1st (Mitch Oppenheim who was a druggie and rock and roller from Maine East) didn't realize that there were 2 outs; so he wasn't moving on contact. He held at 3rd. It could have been the game-winner. The next guy popped out.

We head to the bottom of the ninth with the starters STILL on the mound (no pitch counts back then). Janus walked. He then proceeded to steal 2nd and 3rd and come home on a wild pitch.

I feel so much like Al Bundy regaling in my pre-pubescent glory. Good times.
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At the ballpark, boys will be boys. And, some boys will be legends. Legends, baby!

And, most parents think they're just dropping their kids off at the ballpark to pass the time.

Pity Poor A-Rod

Steinbrenner took somebody’s good advice: keep A-Rod. Although it may just be a smoke-screen, Gotham’s Team is saying that they aren’t considering dumping the converted 3rd baseman. Good! The Yankees put the “fun” in dysfunctional. They are an impossible organization, with unrealistic, pseudo-ballgame-intellectuals for fans. As long as Steinbrenner has been the boss, his town has eaten highly-touted free-agents like they were Ballpark Franks.

Kenny Rogers sure seemed to relish the humiliation of the Yankees in Detroit last week (10/6/06). For the record, The Gambler gunned down New York’s latest Murderer’s Row for 7.2 innings, posting 8 K’s, 2 BB’s and no earned runs in front of the Tiger’s home crowd. In addition to the obvious incentive, Rogers wanted to show Yankees’ fans that they had misjudged and mistreated him, after labeling him a $20 Million free-agent bust in 1996.

The crux of Gotham’s Chicken/Egg Issue is this: either A.)Do free-agents put on pinstripes, underachieve and draw boos? or B.) Do they put on pin-stripes, draw boos during the inevitable adjustment period and then failure snow-balls? Based upon the following list, I tend to choose option “B”.

Does anyone remember Jack McDowell? How about Jose’ Contreras? Steve Karsay or Danny Tartabull? During the tribulations endured by these very good players, a younger Steinbrenner’s M.O. was to take his losses, put the blame on the players, and move on to the franchise’s next potential savior. By the way, don’t you think that Randy Johnson’s favorite player in the clubhouse is A-Rod? Thanks to all the attention, less ink and expletives were cast in the direction of The Big Unit’s 5.0 regular season ERA.

Of the $25 Million A-Rod earns per year, the Yankee’s pay only $17 Million of it, thanks to the Rangers’ charitable send-off. That’s actually less than Jeter, Giambi and Mussina. So, Yankees fans ought to stop choosing the “salary” stick to beat him.

A-Rod had a down year, by his standards. He only tied for 8th in homers in the A.L. Terrible. He only batted .290 during the regular season. Inexcusable. He had a better on-base percentage than White Sox MVP candidate, Jermaine Dye. Oh, yeah. Alex should hang it up and start selling cars.

Yes, he had fielding and throwing errors when it mattered, not to mention his failure to produce big hits at big moments. But, this season in New York shouldn’t exemplify A-Rod’s let-down. It should instead magnify the unfortunate results of Yankee Fans’ sad tendency to eat their young. Kenny Rogers barely got out of town with his skin and his dignity intact, back in ’97. Is it any wonder why he seemed so especially jubilant last Friday Night?

The Southwestern Swami Speaks

If you're reading this, you're probably a parent. If so, are you raising your kid to be a leader of others? Yes? Then, spank the fire out of him/her when they are (shall we say) testing the limits of discipline in your household. During my childrens' upbringing, I have erred on the side of excess when it comes to corporal punishment. I know Dr. Spock would disagree with my approach. But, his famous handbook to parenting came out in the 1960's. And, look at what a counter-productive counter-culture that became.

USAToday canvassed today's CEO's on the issue of whether or not they were spanked, switched, beaten. Check out the results. And, for heaven's sake, beat your kids if you love them.

The St. Anne's Wildcats are scheduled to take on the team from Nederland Central today at 6:30PM. Central is much bigger than our humble Catholic School. But, so was the Great Philistine. I believe in our boys. I predict an upset. I'll tell you one thing, I've got a great track record of sports prognositcation. Read on and be amazed.....

Hate To Say I told You So Dept.
Last October I recounted Pudge's Greatness. (Click on the previous sentence to read my insightful words.) Last August 24th, I predicted the Tigers were this year's team of destiny. (Click on the previous sentence to be dazzled by my analysis.) And, I predicted the Twins would make the playoffs (August 22nd Entry) once Beaumont's own Jason Tyner was called up. Tyner was called up July 14th, 2006. When Tyner was called up, the Twins were a hopeless 12 games out of 1st place. On the date of my fearless prediction, they were 8 games out. 8 Games out!!! That's like having $1.76 in change, and saying you're going to buy an Escalade.

So, I think I've established my credentials in the realm of sports-predictions.

Titus Throws for 2 TD's in win over Lumberton

John Titus threw two TD passes during St. Anne's visit to Lumberton. What makes it more compelling is that the two were the only passes thrown in the first half. Two for two for 14 points. Not bad. His team ended up winning 26-0. So far, he's 3-0 as the starting QB.

The Junior had his IPod on all the way over to the game. I could hear him jamming to Kashmir, by a little known British quartet, Led Zeppelin. He did indeed get his inner-psycho on for this game. He had a run for 40 yards on one run, where he shed some tackles most aggressively. A very nice little overall performance.

In football,it is very evident how much one player depends on another for team success. This team's coaching, offensive line and running back group are all very good. Every player does his job. Everybody succeeds.

The Down-Low

You can't put too much garlic on a dish. It's always safe to double the amount of garlic that is called for in a recipe.

It is not a widely disseminated, downloaded or discussed fact that the average life expectancy for all pro football players, including all positions and backgrounds, is 55 years. Several insurance carriers say it is 51 years. - Michael Arnold Glueck, M.D., and Robert J. Cihak, M.D.

Fire Fran Now

Since taking over in 2003, Coach Franchione has fearlessly led the Aggies to a combined 16-19 record. During that time, A&M has played OU, Texas and Texas Tech a combined 10 times. Our record in those games, since the arrival of the current coach: 1-9. Is it just me, or did we really not find a love-connection here.

Choice Seats on the Bandwagon

Here's a picture from last Thursday's Game. John's team lost. But, he continues to get touches, show improvement and gain confidence. He's going to be a nice prospect when he's in highschool. The starting QB has a wrist injury, and now Junior's the player under center. On Saturday, he got into the weight room and benched 160 for the first time. He was pumped.

Speaking of getting pumped, click this link:
Ronnie Coleman with Brian Dobson: Spotter This is 7 Time Mr. Olympia, Ronnie Coleman. Behind him is Brian Dobson, Trainer and Owner of Metroflex Gym in Arlington, Texas. I lifted at this gym throughout the 1990's. It is not an exxageration to say that all who enter are felons, strippers and professional bodybuilders. Both Brian and Ronnie were always very nice to my kids. So, I'll forgive all the rest.

MLB Notes I'm still waiting for all my propers to start rolling in. As many of you will recall, I have been touting the importance of TEAM ERA as the reason for The Tigers success as well as the White Sox demise. I have been harping the electrifying spark of Jason Tyner as the edge needed down the stretch for the Twins to carve a Wild Card berth. A quick scan of the MLB standings will illustrate that I have been spot-on in my analysis. Certainly, many will want to send compliments. Please be pithy. We don't want to over-work the server.

looking for daylight in Mauriceville

Political Note: My President's silence, after Iran's Ahmedanijad and Venezuala's Chavez belched out hubris and hatred towards Americans and their leader, is admirable. Sometimes a person baits another with such assinine vitriol that the best response is none at all; just let their remarks stand on their own. No need to dignify them.

Local Football: The Junior is expected to get equal touches at the I-Back position and the Wideout position tonight as his St. Anne's Wildcats take on Hampshire-Fannette. Last week, Junior led the team in receiving yardage. But, he coughed up the ball once on the five yard line as the defense salvaged a tie vs. Mauriceville.

Fantasy Football Update: At this point in the season, it becomes increasingly clear who the contenders are, as others fail to replace people who have bye-weeks. Important to keep the roster filled with active players. Still holding the #1 spot this week is Former Colorado All Stater, Paul Mefford. #2 Spot is held by a UT fan whose identity is a mystery to me. But, #3 is Chicago's Todd Projansky, the renowned student of box score.

Very Important Video Link from YouTube

Please click on this link to see an important video clip that my friend Laurie Harmon sent.

Get Ready.

My First Book Report in a While

I've had a lot of back trouble in the past month and a half. I've had doctors telling me that I have to make "lifestyle" changes, i.e.; I have to stop lifting weights. Simultaneously, I've been reading a book by Dave Dravecky, a former MLB pitcher who was an All-Star, went to the World Series, and had it all going on.

Dravecky developed Cancer in his throwing arm. Doctors amputated the arm in the peak of his career. The book is called Called Up. Dravecky uses his experiences to illustrate that we pin our faith on other gods. He: his arm. Me: vanity or selfishness; whatever. You? (Take your time, and be honest.)

God sometimes takes these false gods away from us to fix our focus on Him. Anyway, its a cool book for the Christian-Baseball fan/historian.

The Subtext for this Weekend

This photo is referred to me by our great friend, and football talent evaluator, Tim Phillips of Arlington, Texas. It depicts Pearl Harbor Survivor, Houston James, embracing Marine Staff Sgt. Mark Graunke Jr.. The Sgt. lost a leg, hand and an eye while defusing a bomb in Baghdad last year. What a sacrifice the entire armed forces make for us.

With that in mind, the Vicarious Life staff would like to express outrage over the gamesmanship played this week by Republican Senators, John Warner and John McCain for siding with Democrats to dissallow CIA interrogations of terrorists and give terrorist protection under the terms of the Geneva Convention. It was our current mode of information gathering that allowed England and the U.S. to stop the British 9/11, just a few weeks ago. When the next big attack on America happens, remember to blame the Democrats and Warner and McCain for applying rules of law and fair-play to a group of savages, who apply no standards of ethics, morality, truth or fairness to themselves. We owe better to our sons (like Graunke Jr.) for their sacrifice.

This Weekend's Big Games

Michigan vs. Notre Dame - Collin Cowherd of ESPN reported today that Michigan has received exactly none of the state's Top Ten Ranked Players' committments. UM just isn't sexy. A win at ND would be a real shot in the arm. But, it won't happen. ND by 6.

LSU @ Auburn - At Oklahoma State, Les Miles had a great deal of success. He's a good details guy, in the mold of Jimmy Johnson. But, LSU fans have an unmatched ability to display classlessness during both losses and victories. Their tailgaters are mythical in their debauchery. They'll be the fans watching the game with one eye covered. It just wouldn't be right for LSU to beat the Tigers. Auburn by 7.

Texas Tech at TCU - Last week, Tech escaped UTEP by only 3 points. There has been a working theory that they could insert the ballboy to run Mike Leach's offense, because it was the system that made Tech hard to beat. TCU is going to show them that you've also got to play defense. TCU by 10.

One Patriotic College Football Player

Thanks to our faithful friend, Travis Wilson, Texas A&M, Class of '89 for sending this link about Mark Dodge, college football player and Military Veteran:

Mark Dodge, Texas Aggie

Fantasy Football Standings

In the top spot, after Week One is former Colorado All-State Infielder, Paul Mefford. Take a look at this roster of solid pick-ups and dark-horses. Paul is now an engineer, who uses slide rules and computer programs, so it almost isn't fair.

Only 98 points behind, in the Number Two Spot is Chicago's Todd Projansky, a known sports minutiae expert. Mr. Projansky's deft selections include Peyton Manning and Larry Fitzgerald. The rest of the roster includes budget buys to fill out a top-flight group.

The Number Three Spot is held by Beaumont, Texas' Nick Soberon. He's in 7th grade. So, the rest of us are getting jobbed by a middle schooler.

While We Await UT vs. OSU...

Thanks to Vicarious Life roving reporter and State Farm Insurance Agent Travis Wilson for the link to the fantastic display of patriotism shown by the great Jim Leyland, (one of the reasons why Los Tigres are a team of destiny; discussed heretofore on August 24th) on September 1, 2006.

It seems that Leyland was quite capable of observing the Stars and Stripes, while concurrently chewing on the posterior of the plate umpire.

Leyland's Patriotism on Display

This week, my son's team will take on his former team, the Cathedral Warriors. There is a great deal of tension attached to this battle on the gridiron because John and Brandtley Wilson (Cathedral's two best players) jumped ship to play for their arch-rival, the Wildcats. The Warriors would take out a full-page ad in the Houston Chronicle if they could win this one on Thursday.

The world lost a great environmentalist in Steve "The Crocodile Hunter" Irwin. Many was the time that I found myself siding with the tree-hugging socialists on the topic of environmental consciousness while watching Irwin tell things from the animals' point of view. In most cases, the issue is habitat destruction. Irwin was the greatest ambassador for the cause because he used his big-eyed, child-like enthusiasm to disarm even the cynical.

No doubt, we can all remember times when we were absent-mindedly flipping through channels with the kids and stopped to watch the mesmoririzing Irwin straddling a giant boa constrictor or man-sized crocodile, while explaining their social habits. The Crocodile Hunter worked without a net, a guard, or the safety of a blue screen. He was the real deal, seeking nothing but his family's companionship, the audience's attention, the participation of dog, Sui and another day's dose of adrenaline. We at the Vicarious Life hold him in the highest esteem for doing nothing less than that which he loved the most.

Wake up the Echoes and the Gipper

Oh, sweet mother of everything that is good… College football is here. Whether folks like it or not, the best match-up this weekend is Notre Dame v. Georgia Tech. And, it would be best if ND took a resounding “W” to kick off 2006. You see, the Fighting Irish are good for this country, and right now the country needs them desperately.

When I woke up this morning, I wasn’t in high school anymore. And, Reagan wasn’t the president. ABC Television was promoting a daytime television show with a big, slobbering lesbian (Rosie O’Donnell) as one of the hosts, called The View. The View of WHAT?! Rosie’s view of Elizabeth’s crotch?!

As I turned down my 8-Track of Rush’s Moving Pictures and opened the paper, I started to understand that my world was threatened by something called Islam, a religion that makes killing people with fashion-sense their A-1 priority. What is worse, the country can’t seem to come to a consensus that we need to wipe Iran off the map. Today!

Great Gobs of Goo! Where the hell is The Gipper when you need him? Back then, Left and Right rallied around Reagan! And, we won the Cold War! Notre Dame Football had the best recruiting in the country and was a perennial Top Ten team. America came out for football on Saturdays. And, homosexuals stayed pretty much in the closet. Touchdown Jesus was in South Bend on Saturday. And, we were in his house on Sunday. All men wanted to be Joe Montana. And, women wanted to be with him. (Now, many of them want to be with Rosie O’Donnell.) America was great when ND was great.

Give us The Four Horsemen, Knute Rockne and the turning of the leaves in America’s beautiful Midwest. It’s good for the country when we celebrate the traditions that are good for our country. The Florida schools had their chance to steal the mantle of America’s greatest college program, but they are all about the exploitation of our youth. (Don’t make me develop that argument because I will.)

May God bless America’s great traditions, it’s brave leaders and Notre Dame Football because we need them to patch much of the weakening fabric of our society. You can love to hate the Irish. But, see their importance. Wake up the echoes and blow Iran off the map!! And, were it that Rosie’s only VIEW was of the Gipper’s foot in her ass.

ND by 10.