What You Didn't Know...

I don't know if I've ever told you that Fiber One can make you run like a Swiss time piece. As we age, this is increasingly important. I eat it everyday. Look for it in the Alfalfa section of your grocery store. During my last prostate exam, the doctor compared my colon to the lobby at the Austin Four Seasons for its impressive cleanliness, as he considered re-using his glove. That went a long way toward helping me recapture my dignity.

(Aaron Morgan, Home Run Swing, 4/9/06)
During my son's baseball tournament this weekend, our head coach was stricken by the call (more like the command)of nature during one of our games. I felt compelled to advise him about the healthful effects of eating F1 with regularity, for regularity. In that tournament, the SE Texas Sundevils took 2nd Place, losing the fiercely competitive championship game, as the sun fell in Lake Charles, Louisiana on Sunday Evening. John had 2 triples and a double during the tourney. (He must be eating Wheaties. )

You probably didn't know it, but I was finally getting ready to proclaim Yao Ming not a bust. And, all of a sudden, the big Chinese horse threw a shoe, last night against the Jazz. He has always frustrated me because of his lack of agression, despite gargantuan size and ability. More out of basic courtesy than anything else, he deferred to Steve Francis and recently T-Mac as the first option. But this year in light of McGrady's injury, he found himself forced to be THE GUY, while surrounded by a low-end CBA roster for most of the season. Up until then, he lead the league in scoring (at his position) and was third in boards behind Ben Wallace and Marcus Camby.

You probably didn't know about Norman Chad. His syndicated column is called the Couch Slouch. His work has no educational or nutrional value. (But, neither does Budweiser. And, no one questions its place in society.) He is the only source of humor to be found in the realm of sports in the Houston area. People of the Houston area are saddled by the lackluster work in the Houston Chronicle sports page. H-Town sports-fans are encumbered by limp, flacid and formulaic sports-talk on AM 610. Superior product from the DFW area (Dallas Morning News Sports Page and AM 1310 The Ticket) is discussed only in low whispers, assumedly because of deep-seeded jealousy.

The Texas Rangers are last in the AL West. No surprise. They jumped out to a typical 2-6 start. But, I bet you didn't know that Rookie Ian Kinsler is hitting better than .400 (9 for 20) as Alfonso Soriano's replacement. No doubt, he eats his Fiber One.