Yesterday, I heard a voice on the Christian radio station say something about the importance of keeping your children near, spending every possible bit of time with them. The speaker explained that jealously guiding our kids throughout their youths is the only way we parents could protect them from the media and their peers’ attempts at getting them to join in non-meritorious (for lack of a much more colorful word) activities. It is increasingly difficult for fathers to find the moral perch from which to guide their kids. Society wants your children to fail. And, it wants you to fail as a parent. Society uses the ‘Times are Changing’ rationale and the ‘Let them grow up.’ Arguments to knock you off balance. You dads need to recognize these. Never forget that no one cares more deeply for your child than you. When people want your kids to do something you’re not certain about, just say ‘no’.
The ‘Times are changing (TAC)’ Argument goes thusly:
“C’mon. Now days, young kids have cell phones and text-messaging. They go to movies. They have the internet. What’s the harm? How’s your kid going to function in society if you don’t let him/her do it? Folks, all these things are true. But, our society also has pedophiles and a justice system that fails its’ victims with a moral uncertainty that precludes even defining sexual perversion as clearly wrong. Our society also has a long list of STDs that cause everything from opaque, pastel petro-chemicals to small patches of little mushrooms on or about the genitalia. Introduce your kid to these hazards on your timetable, not society’s timetable. The path our children walk is murky. And, the stakes are their futures. When assailed by the ‘Times are changing.’ Argument, resist the urge to bludgeon the speaker and just say ‘no’.
Here is the ‘Let them grow up (LTGU)’ line of reasoning:
“Hey, how is your boy ever going to learn to think for himself? When are you going to let him grow up? You need to let him make his own decisions.” This scenario comes up often in the picking-of-friends. Affluent, any-way-the-wind-blows-tennis-mommy will lament her daughter’s choice of boyfriends. “Oh well, you can’t pick their friends,” she’ll say as if that is outside a parent’s contractual purview. What?!
Remember, a good parent has more experience upon which to base his/her decisions. If your daughter rides up on the back end of some oily, tattooed kid’s uninsured motorcycle, you need to have the fortitude to run his ass off your property while blowing the rubber off the back rim with your shotgun. Again, the stakes are too high today not to have the courage to be a parent.
We not only protect our children, but we impart our faith and values during the time we spend together. My friend, Tommy Moye took his boys, Robert and Ryan to Smith Point this past weekend to go duck hunting. This dad spends his time with his boys during sports and hunting activities and projects his values upon his boys by the way he gives them a central role in his life. He has a terrible aim, but is a great dad.
I’ve had to field both the LTGU and TAC during my kids’ youths. Both are so common, people just accept them as valid. But, the acceptance of these arguments is the forfeiture of your role and responsibility as a parent. Man up. Be a parent. Just say “no”.
