Wake up the Echoes and the Gipper

Oh, sweet mother of everything that is good… College football is here. Whether folks like it or not, the best match-up this weekend is Notre Dame v. Georgia Tech. And, it would be best if ND took a resounding “W” to kick off 2006. You see, the Fighting Irish are good for this country, and right now the country needs them desperately.

When I woke up this morning, I wasn’t in high school anymore. And, Reagan wasn’t the president. ABC Television was promoting a daytime television show with a big, slobbering lesbian (Rosie O’Donnell) as one of the hosts, called The View. The View of WHAT?! Rosie’s view of Elizabeth’s crotch?!

As I turned down my 8-Track of Rush’s Moving Pictures and opened the paper, I started to understand that my world was threatened by something called Islam, a religion that makes killing people with fashion-sense their A-1 priority. What is worse, the country can’t seem to come to a consensus that we need to wipe Iran off the map. Today!

Great Gobs of Goo! Where the hell is The Gipper when you need him? Back then, Left and Right rallied around Reagan! And, we won the Cold War! Notre Dame Football had the best recruiting in the country and was a perennial Top Ten team. America came out for football on Saturdays. And, homosexuals stayed pretty much in the closet. Touchdown Jesus was in South Bend on Saturday. And, we were in his house on Sunday. All men wanted to be Joe Montana. And, women wanted to be with him. (Now, many of them want to be with Rosie O’Donnell.) America was great when ND was great.

Give us The Four Horsemen, Knute Rockne and the turning of the leaves in America’s beautiful Midwest. It’s good for the country when we celebrate the traditions that are good for our country. The Florida schools had their chance to steal the mantle of America’s greatest college program, but they are all about the exploitation of our youth. (Don’t make me develop that argument because I will.)

May God bless America’s great traditions, it’s brave leaders and Notre Dame Football because we need them to patch much of the weakening fabric of our society. You can love to hate the Irish. But, see their importance. Wake up the echoes and blow Iran off the map!! And, were it that Rosie’s only VIEW was of the Gipper’s foot in her ass.

ND by 10.

St. Anne's Football Whips St. Vincent

In their first action of the year, the Wildcats travelled to Houston to put a whipping on the Green and Yellow. The Wildcants had a great team performance.

Dakota Eddins scored three times; once on an interception return for a TD, and twice on long runs from scrimmage. Gramm Klein, Mathew Lighty and Brandtley Wilson gave the look of a three-headed monster, sharing running back duties.

John Titus, #9 was a beast on kickoffs, kickoff return and at strong safety. He also got to play some QB, and had a few nice runs, himself. It was hot day. But, it was worth it to knock the starch out of Craig Biggio's kid and everyone else wearing the Green and Yellow.

Handoff to Willy Lighty -8/23/06

St. Anne Wildcats:28 - St. Vincent:0

Pudge and The Sopranos - Don't Ask Questions

In 2006, the Tigers won’t just make the playoffs. They are a team of destiny. They’ll win it all. Some would say that as long as Joe Torre is around, the Yankees will cobble together a mix of pitching and offense, using long-in-the-tooth veterans and guile. In the past month, their DL has looked more like an All-Star Ballot (Sheffield, Matsui, Mussina, Giambi, Damon, etc.) That team will need a lot of luck to get everyone healthy for a playoff run. The Mets might present a viable obstacle in the NL, with a team ERA of 4.12. But, Pedro Martinez has been on the DL twice in the past two months. And, Tom Glavine and Steve Trachsel last saw their prime when Reagan was President.

With apologies to the Twins and White Sox; both solid squads, here are five reasons why the Tigers will win it all in 2006.

5. Pudge Rodriguez – The guy is the greatest catcher in the history of the great game. What is all this talk about Mike Piazza being a Hall of Famer? Rodriguez is simply the best ever. There are currently thirteen catchers in the HOF. Here are some of Pudge’s numbers compared to the greatest ever.

Pudge is a career .304 hitter. That would place him 4th all-time among HOF catchers, better than Johnny Bench, Gary Carter and Yogi Berra.

Pudge has a .487 career slugging percentage. That would place him 3rd among HOF catchers, better than Bench, Fisk, Berra and Carter.

His OBP is tied with Fisk and better than Carter. Johnny Bench is roundly regarded by the old school as the best ever. But, Pudge’s offensive numbers are better. Also, Pudge has a career .990 fielding percentage compared to Bench’s .987. Mike Piazza can’t compare to Pudge.

4. Jim Leyland – Like Torre and Ozzie Guillen, this ain’t his first rodeo. He’s had 15 years in the big chair, during stints at Pittsburgh, Florida and Colorado. He took over a last place Pirates team in 1996 and helped them become competitive, finishing first in their division from 1990 to 1992. His poker face masks his competitive fire, but lends itself well to his veteran-laden club.

3. The Tony Soprano Factor - I don’t generally question the methods of Vegas oddsmakers, but I do think its generally smart money to rely on their advice. It is kind of like if Tony Soprano told you that you should stop eating all the calamari at Meadow’s private party. You probably wouldn’t question his methods. But, you would certainly follow his advice.

As of August 15th, only the New York Yankees had odds equal to the Tigers of winning this Year’s World Series (7/2). But, that was before their horse, Mike Mussina went on the 15 day DL yesterday.

2. Pitching – Team ERA is the strongest indicator of success. Last year, the two World Series teams were both in the top five Team ERAs. Houston’s: 3.51: Chicago’s 3.61. This year, the number one Team ERA belongs to….(You guessed it.).. The Tigers at 3.65.

1. The Hammerin’ Hank Greenberg Factor – This year (2006) marks the 50th Anniversary of the induction to the Hall of Fame of the greatest Detroit Tiger. Much is said about the courage shown by Jackie Robinson, in breaking the color barrier. But, Greenberg’s courage was similar, being an Orthodox Jew. Also, although excused by the government, Hammerin’ Hank was the first MLB player to enlist after the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941. His baseball numbers were staggering. But, measuring this man by mere numbers would be an injustice.

There you go. Based upon these factors, there is a definite symmetry to a Tiger Championship, if you get Mr. Soprano's meaning.

Rangers Done - Go Team Hoyt!

Words fail me in trying to describe the story of Team Hoyt. Father is a retired Lieutenant Colonel, whose commitment to his son has kept him from being institutionalized for a lifetime. Together, they express their commitment, joy and optimism through their sport. What a story!

Here's a link to the text of the tribute paid to this pair of men by the U.S. House of Representatives, which includes Rick Reilly's Sports Illustrated piece. To see a short video of the twosome, click the second link. Thanks to old friend, Travis Wilson for telling us about this inspirational father and son.

U.S. House Tribute to TeamHoyt

Video of TeamHoyt

Farewell My 2006 Rangers
My Texas Rangers have won 8 of their last 11 games. It's not like they haven't been trying. Looking at the numbers, it's hard to suggest that they have phoned the season in; they are better than the Oakland A's in the following areas (ytd):
Batting Avg: Rangers - .282.....A's - .274
Sluggng Pct: Rangers - .455.....A's - .420
RBI's:...... Rangers - 197......A's - 178

The Ranger's are ahead of the A's in most offensive stats. But, you get the picture.

The Blue and Red from Arlington has also bettered it's Team ERA significantly in the month of August.

Texas' Team ERA Before All-Star Break: 4.65 August Team ERA: 4.42

The effort has been there. So, I am not going to cast about suggestions of incompetence and cowardice where the Rangers are concerned, (like I did with the Astros). But, I have got to say that this weekend is their last shot. They've got the A's at home for a 3 game series. They're six games back in the AL West. So, if they don't sweep, they're out of it.

(Secret Scandalous Tidbit: If the Rangers don't sweep the A's, we're jumping on the Minnesota Twins' bandwagon down the stretch in support of Beaumont's Aggie Legend, Jason Tyner. At present, they .5 games behind the White Sox in the A.L. Wild Card.)

It's not that I haven't been astounded by the development of Gary Matthews, Jr., Ian Kinsler, Mark DeRosa and Gerald Laird this year. But, if they're still six back come Monday, Farewell Y'all. Go Team Hoyt!

Tyner Update, Christmas Ideas, Hooray!

Father of the Month Award

August 17th, 2006 was a special day for Liam O’Connor of Chicago. It was the day that he turned five years old. Liam’s father, Sean did what his father used to do on such occasions. He took his son to see the Chicago White Sox play.

On a beautiful day at U.S. Cellular Field, Mark Buehrle was yeoman-like for six innings, allowing two earned runs to the Kansas City Royals to earn the win. Sean and Liam matriculated into the more expensive seats, right behind the home team’s dugout, which Liam considered a great improvement over their paid seats in the upper deck. Now the twosome was close enough to be heard by their team.

Between innings, the Father called out to his son’s favorite player, Juan Uribe, Number 5. Sean asked the Sox Shortstop if he would give Liam a ball. Uribe speaks little English and smiled but looked confused. John Garland handed Uribe a ball and gestured. Juan understood the request and rolled Liam the ball. The little boy held his birthday present, from the giant man who he believes is the greatest ballplayer ever, with both hands.

For exposing himself to expulsion for moving into the unpaid-for seats; and by exposing himself to complaint and ridicule by a team in a playoff hunt, Sean secured an unforgettable baseball memory for his son. The staff at the Vicarious Life recognizes Mr. Chicago Sean O’Connor as its Vicarious Father of the Month for August.

Vicarious Christmas Gift Ideas
As of Saturday, there’ll be 127 days until Christmas. To beat the rush, I’ve compiled a countdown to the finest music to be found out there for gifting.

5. Oh Say Can You Sing benefits a good number of charities of the different MLB player’s choice. So, take this as the well-meant novelty that it is. The Jewel in this mix of rocks and semi-precious stones is the Mets’ Matt Ginter, playing the banjo on “Dooley”. Also, H.O.F. Shortstop, Ozzie Smith does a surprisingly true rendition of Sam Cooke’s “Cupid”. Jeff Conine (the Barbarian) only proves he’s tone-deaf. But, remember. It’s for charity.

4. Covering All Bases While still a pitcher with the Boston Red Sox, Bronson Arroyo got together in 2005 with a group of experienced studio musicians, as well as friends, Johnny Damon and Kevin Youklis (backup singers and beer-helpers) to make a CD of rock music covers. This is a fun CD. Arroyo looks and sounds like that real cool, not-quite-ready-for-a-record-deal kind of guy, who plays a lot of frat parties and gets the chicks in college. All the songs were hits for other bands. So, there’s nothing new. But, this is a ballplayer that could pinch-hit for Eddie Vedder on a night that he has a sinus infection. Throw him in the mix. He’ll hold up his part of the rotation.

3. Ben Broussard's new CD Traded from Cleveland to Seattle this year, Ben Broussard joins Jason Tyner and Frank Robinson on the developing All-Beaumont Team. That's right, he's from Beaumont, Texas. He flies under the radar, but he's a solid .300 hitter with power. He wrote all the songs on his CD. And, he'll fit in nicely in Seattle, where they drink coffee and overrate anyone that plays a guitar.

2. Baseball's Greatest Hits– This compilation of various great artists from the last fifty years is both great music and a historical subtext for a time when this country could rightfully glorify its baseball heroes. Count Basie, Danny Kay and Les Brown were “A-Listers” long ago, in a time when sluggers like Joe Dimaggio were bigger than the President. Come to think of it, some things haven’t changed.

1. The Journey Within
A man this talented with a guitar should never tolerate G. Steinbrenner. Bernie Williams could tour with Pat Matheny year-round. He is a classically trained guitarist, who wrote three of the songs on his album. He is accompanied by an all-star cast of jazz musicians, including Ruben Blades (who has kept busy during his waking hours by running for President of Panama, winning a Grammy for the Jazz Album, Mundo and being an unfortunate victim of the alien in the movie, Predator).
Williams has compiled an album of fine, relaxing jazz, without trying to show off.

Jason Tyner Update
Yesterday, (8/18/06), Beaumont’s Jason Tyner went 3 for 4 with a run scored. I wrote an article last month about his long climb back into the Bigs. After 126 at-bats, Tyner is still hitting at a furious .325 pace. The Vicarious Life Staff hears the Roy Hobbs theme song in its collective head whenever Tyner is on Sportscenter, making a defensive gem.
Aug. 13, MLB.Com Jason Tyner Article

Astros Finished - Fans Think Texans

Mark the date. Officially, The staff at the Vicarious Life has buried the Astros for the 2006 Season.

Yesterday was the last straw. Andy Pettitte has been improving significantly from his first half performance. Since the All-Star Break, when he posted a 5.28 ERA, Pettitte has allowed only 3.04 earned runs per nine innings. He threw a complete game, allowing one earned run against the Cubs on Wednesday. And, the team couldn't reward him with a "W", for crying out loud.

At a time when the season is on the precipice, and runs are as precious as Central Texas rain, why does this team trot Morgan Ensberg (.234 BA/.477 Slugging) out there every day while Mike Lamb (.312 BA/.498 Slugging) gets only one at-bat per game in a bench role? It's asinine. Ensberg, the man of a thousand batting stances, needs to be on a psychiatrist's couch, not in the batter's box!

We're officially done. Start thinking about football season, and the holidays.

Fantasy Football Handicapping
Fantasy Team Owners: Each team will be given two new trades a week, in addition to the three that each team gets to start. Also, each team owner will be able to view all other teams' rosters, once the season begins.

The Fantasy Football Staff at the Vicarious Life has added several new team owners in the past week. Be particularly wary of The Nematodes, owned by Jacob Sawyer, a scientist at the University of North Carolina. He uses slide rules and computers to forge weekly roster strategies. Very dangerous.

We find it particularly curious that Graham Klein, the President of his 8th Grade Class and a "Straight-A Student" named his unit, Team Punishment. In public, he is a very good and helpful person. But, this name suggests a vicious mean streak.

Handicappers give the Coho and Projo's Dojo teams very little chance for success because their owners are historically homers. They live in Chicago. You do the math.

The owner of The Arlington Oak(Monsignor Tim Phillips) has inside information relating to scouting and injuries, as his dad has been very close friends with Buffalo's Marv Levy for a very long time, dating back to their coaching days at Coe College in Iowa. Watch this roster.

The NFL Regular Season begins September 7, kicking off Monday Night on ESPN, Miami v. Pittsburgh.

Base-Jumping at Yankee Stadium, etc...

#34, LHP John Titus (pitching for the Southeast Texas Sun Devils, at the IBC World Series in St. Petersburg, Florida) had a very noteworthy accomplishment on July 22nd, 2006.

The team’s right-handed power pitcher, Ronnie “El Tiburon” Sanchez got into trouble in the 2nd inning, allowing two runs to tie the score. “Papa John” was called upon to go the final five frames, which he did in historic fashion.

John hurled all five innings, striking out nine Indians and allowing zero runs. The fourth inning provided rare pitching excellence that can not be statistically exceeded. He struck out the side on nine pitches.

Exhaustive research does not show that this record for consecutive strikes has ever been achieved at the professional level. However, on a similar note in 1884 New York pitcher Mickey Welch struck out the first nine Cleveland Blues hitters to face him establishing a major league record for most consecutive strikeouts.

At the youth level, Cooperstown, New York’s Dream Park reports that then-12 year old, Alex Levis of the Montreal Royals (Canada), threw 19 consecutive strikes on 7/11/05.


Unforgettable Sports Memories Dept.
The Houston Chronicle reported on August 10, 2006 that a 19 year old fan that recently jumped from the 2nd deck of Yankee stadium onto the net behind home plate has been banned for the rest of his life from the historic ballpark.

It makes me wonder what ever happened to a certain South Texas Sports Legend, Victor Lombrana. This young man was a 19 year old Senior at La Porte High School in 2002. During halftime of the football game against the hated Deer Park Varsity, Lombrana and a friend disrobed and ran across midfield to the simultaneous astonishment, excitement and horror of the huge crowd. He was sent to an alternative school to finish out the school year. Lombrana had been an honors student.

Guy at a Burger King Drive Through: “Hey Vic, remember that time you stripped naked and ran across the football field and all the cheerleaders screamed, and all hell broke loose?”

Vic: “Yeah, man. I don’t know what came over me. Would you like fries and an apple pie with your order?”

The Ultimate Fantasy Football League of All Time and Space Dept.
The following intrepid sports-fans have joined the league:

Travis Wilson - Terrell, Texas... Sugar Rush
Patrick Titus - Beaumont, Texas... Aggie12thMan
John Titus - Beaumont, Texas... Security Envelopes
Sean O'Connor - Chicago, Il... Coho Salmon, Insane Coho Lips 2
Todd Projansky - Chicago, Il... Projo's Dojo
Todd Keeler - Chicago, Il... Uptown Uglies
Tim Phillips - Arlington, TX... Arlington Oak
Paul Mefford - Lake Jackson, TX... WannaBeAggie

The deadline for joining is 9/7/06. If you or a friend would like to join this free online league, hosted by SportingNews.Com, please send me an email at teamtitus@netzero.net.

America's Team Dept.
My good friend, Travis Wilson referred me to Dallas Cowboy Great Rayfield Wright’s Hall of Fame Acceptance Speech. After reading it, I was struck by his simple courage.

Society is at war today. There is a war against God today. It is evidenced in the music and images that cheapen our little girls as well as glorify sex and drugs. It is evidenced by our liberal media who can not tolerate Christians because they regard them as intolerant. And, it is evident in the wars that we witness and society’s unwillingness to see them from a Biblical perspective.

I was struck by the clarity and honesty of Wright’s speech, which so starkly constrasted America's general non-commital cowardice; his unwavering faith in God and commitment to family, as well as his humility. Our country used to be able to produce people weak of means and opportunity, but strong in faith and family. In light of the war that society fights today, one has to wonder if society won't snuff out the light of the brilliant and bright Rayfield Wrights of this generation.

One last thought: In light of these trying times, imagine the earnest source of truth Reggie White (the posthumous HOF inductee who traveled to Israel in 1998 to study Christianity and it's kinship with the Jews) might have provided to the children of our time, had he lived to give his Christian testimony at his HOF Induction.
Rayfield Wright's Acceptance to HOF

Joe Torre, The Zen and The Gay Produce Guy

When managers, associates and coaches are in a position of authority over others, they are responsible for those people. Too often, managers, coaches and regular folks position others as close to the figurative exit as possible, so they can throw them under the bus when things get embarrassing or results are disappointing. It takes a real man to expose himself to ridicule to help others be their best. Joe Torre never ridicules his players in public. And, he shelters them from the heat when Steinbrenner gets angry about a losing streak or a hitting slump. Torre is an example of someone who instills confidence in others so they can be their best. In turn, his players and coaches are as loyal as the Marine Corps.

Mitch, The Gay Produce Guy (TGPG) works at the grocery store where my family gets all our groceries. Short and balding, he (TGPG) speaks with a lisp and waves his hands for bravado when he makes a point. His shoes suggest that he is poor. I used to wish that he hadn’t chosen me to talk to every time I get salad, bananas, whatever. But, now I’m just resigned to the fact that I’m going to have to talk about how great Jaclyn Smith looks at 60, or give my advice on how to keep Mitch’s (TGPG) cholesterol in check.

He (TGPG) started talking to me because I bring my kids with me everywhere I go. And, they help me shop. John drives the cart. Maddie keeps the grocery list. I maintain radio contact with my wife via cell phone in order to get approval for extravagant purchases, like Feta Cheese. So, we’ve got a system that works. Mitch’s shrill voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard the first time he ever spoke to me. He remarked that my kids are so well-behaved. He said I looked like a strict disciplinarian. My Gay-Dar was redlining.

Thursday, (since Mitch and I chat all the time now) we had a lengthy conversation about some of Mitch’s favorite people. Then, Mitch wanted my advice on how he might keep trim without straining too much. We segued into some diet advice. And, after about 10 minutes, the conversation mercifully ended.

After we walked away, my 9 year old daughter asked why I had spoken for so long to that strange man. I told her that all Mitch needs is validation. He needs to hear someone that he respects speak to him as if he and his ideas have merit. I explained to Maddie that some folks live their entire lives seeking the validation they’ve never gotten. And, sometimes showing these folks a little kindness helps them be their best.

I wasn’t always so nice. I’ve been reading The Zen of Zim. In it, Don Zimmer talks about his experiences as a baseball man. During the 1996 World Series against the Atlanta Braves, Torre used up almost every bench player by the tenth inning in taking the lead in Game 4. As the Yankees were to take the field, they had no first basemen left on the bench. Third baseman Charlie Hayes volunteered.

Hayes claimed he’d played first a couple of times in the past and, being as we didn’t have anyone else anyway, Joe said: “Go to it.” Then, he turned to me (Zimmer) and laughed: “We do things by the seat of our pants around here, don’t we?”

You can see why guys loved playing for him. Players all have insecurities, even the best of them, and they look to the manager for confidence.

Of course, the Yankees won the series against the Atlanta Braves 4-2. The point is that a good manager or coach can support a person and make him/her feel like an ace in the hole. Or, they can exude panic, and crush confidence in a time where the need for that is greatest. Joe Torre, a man who has survived cancer and an abused, dysfunctional childhood (and worse; now works for G. Steinbrenner) is an example of a man who accepts such contingencies as the opportunities that they are. We can apply a little of his approach at work, in everyday life and at the ballgame.