Old-School Stengel helps explain Sox Situation

My Dear Sean (My Southsider friend, Sean O'Connor),

I want to send you some more analysis, relating to your beloved White Sox. You've been obsessing about the state of things in Ozzie Guillen's clubhouse. (For the record, Guillen is a great manager. He plays old-school, like Casey Stengel did with the Yankees. And, Jay Mariotti may not be a flaming f%#*ot, but I'd rather eat the soap than shower with him.)

I know that you are starting to sweat it, finding yourself 2.5 games back at the end of June. The good news is this: Assuming your team exposes the Cubs for the posers that they are (with the exception of Zambrano) today, you will only have one fewer loss on 7/01/06 than your team did on 7/1/05.

2005 record on July 1 - 53-25 Win %: 67.9
2006 record on July 1 - 52-27 Win %: 65.8

To be truthful, I wouldn't call July a cake-walk where the schedule is concerned. But, your next six games are against Cubs and Orioles. Worst case: 5-1. Then, if you can take two out of three from BoSox prior to the All-Star Break, your Southsiders will have raised the win-percentage to 67%. I think the Tigers have a more difficult time ahead, having to travel to the West Coast for series against the surging A's and Mariners. So, patience is called for here. You may be looking at a dead-heat beginning the second half of the season.

Having set you up with my optimistic tack, I have got to (in the name of truth, justice and Bob Hope, the bravest American never to carry a gun) tell you the basis of your unnatural sense of impending doom regarding the 2006 campaign.

Last Year's White Sox Team ERA - AL #1 3.61 ERA
This Year's White Sox Team ERA - AL #5 4.30 ERA

At this point, the Detroit Tigers are #1 at 3.45 Tm ERA. As Casey Stengel said, "Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa." Yep. It's all about the pitching. Stengel also said about good pitchers, "Nobody ever had too many of them." But, he never saw the 2006 Tigers.

Clemens Can Jump Sinking Ship and Be Hero

Watch out for this scenario. I developed it while talking to my son this morning.

1. Astros sign and get Clemens. (This part has already taken place, so it took less thought. Clemens' ERA is under 2.5.) So, the Houstonians are winners.

2. Clemens pitches great, but the team is 7 games back by the trade deadline. But, at least Clemens did his best for the hometown.

3. The delay in getting with the real team that he'll go to war with in October allows he and the Astros to identify Astros team-needs. And, it allows Clemens to identify the team with the best record and the best chance to win it all.

4. Clemens issues public statement: I love Texas. But, I'll do what's best for the team.

5. Clemens gets traded to Boston. Boston's a winner. Clemens is a winner. Houston's fans believe he was only doing what's best for the team. And, he gets a real shot at another ring. And, Drayton Mclane picks up an OF or a 3B to replace disappointing Jason Lane or Morgan Ensberg.

Everyone's a winner here. If he has a no-trade clause, he'll have to waive it. And, for conspiracy theorists: KNOWING HOW WEAK HOUSTON IS OFFENSIVELY, WAS THIS IN THE BACK OF HIS MIND ALL ALONG?

Since Peter Gammons is in ICU, I'm doing his job. Back to you, Sean.

Summer Skulking

I don't know if "skulking" is a word. But, if it isn't, I am going to assign it the following meaning: hanging around and waiting until the moment is right. The VC in Full Metal Jacket did some skulking while GI Joe was smoking up his Marlboro's and Sneaky Weed. "Charlie" was in the bush, eating bugs, wiping his butt with leaves and getting stronger.

Junior's team stole a tournament in Louisiana, this past weekend: The Gulf Coast Classic V in Lake Charles. A quick rundown of Junior's numbers over the course of four games: 1 single, 1 double, 2 triples, 1 RBI Sac Fly and a walk. In the Semi-Final Game, Junior pitched five innings, with only one unearned run to mar an otherwise surgical performance. In that game, he stole home to give us an insurance run. He contributed an RBI single in a Championship Game that we took by one run over the 14 year old Louisiana Lynx.

I was proud of his work, (along with a few other skulkers on his team). And, here's why: we play tournament baseball 5 months a year. Being a pitcher, he has to take care to throw bullpens and run every week, in addition to weight-training and practicing with his team. Staying interested in the game is hard for an adult. I can imagine that the pressure to perform is tough on a thirteen year old.


So, here's where Junior skulks like no other. As the physical and emotional wear of the season reveals itself in the declining play of some players, Junior stepped in this weekend and seized the moment to be a marquis guy when his team needed him. His preparation is allowing him to come up big. There will always be players who fall off the pace because the sacrifice is too great for them. Staying strong and waiting pays off. I know he has bought into the concept. Skulking.